[sumo] Light reading between basho

[Barbara Ann Klein]

Here's an interesting, maybe tongue-in-cheek?, story about a very overweight
person who found pleasure in "doing" some sumo. What I'd like to know is
where he found this "sumo supply store" .

BRTK

Link provided: http://www.smalltownnation.com/blog/view/1285/
 
Jerrydale McCarty -Trailer Park Manager 

  	By: 	jerrydale   	
Mood: 	Full of life 	
Date: 	Jan 12, 2007 	
Music: 	soft oriental 	


We all have an amazing ability to function and persevere in whatever
parameters life deals us. So it is with The Captain. He's been dogged by
weight most of his adult life but learned to live with it as best he could.
It is a constant with him to control his nemeses and sometimes he achieves
but mostly he loses, and has lost his continuing battle till he tipped the
scales at 710 lbs. But The Captain is a fighter and never loses sight of his
goal although his goal does go beyond the horizon most of the time. Last
week He tried the cabbage diet and after consuming two big pots of five
heads each and a half pound of corned beef in each for the flavor he was
beset with a raucous case of the squirts that lasted three days. When all
was said and done and he was able to get the drizzlings to subside he felt
much better and considerably lighter. Enough to hook the trailer up to the
Park Avenue and take a trip down to the MFA feed company and get weighed on
their truck scales. Realizing those scales might not be exact to the ounce,
The Captain was overjoyed with  the approximate 680 pounds the drive over
scales indicated. The whole thing gave him reason to try to join life to its
fullest and he treated himself to some of the ordinary things we take for
granted..... like underwear. For such a long time he'd been unable to 'just
go get some underwear' because it wasn't available. Then he found the Sumo
Wrestlers supply house. The Captain ordered himself a beautiful deep purple
sort of cod piece with a thong that made him feel current in style and more
completely dressed. It was what is worn by the competing Sumo wrestlers when
they warrior against each other in the rings in Japan, but was perfect in
size and structure for The Captain and his needs. Since he only ordered one
to start with, he wore it two days then took it off and washed it and
greased the thong portion up good with petroleum jelly, because he was a
little dry in the crack area and was beginning to irritate a bit back there.
When he put it back on it made him feel better than he'd felt in a long
time, perhaps even a little Sumo'ish. He started working on some simple Sumo
poses in front of the full length mirror on the bedroom door, and even
though he had to get back against the wall on the far side of the room to
see himself, he still realized he had a  somewhat natural look in the Sumo
world. Later on in the evening he had progressed to the guttural grunts and
facial expressions along with the squats and arm positions of the Sumo about
to attack and according to Ms. Lollipop he was pretty damned good at it too.
Enough to make the kids squeal with delight when he hiked his leg and
slammed it back down on the floor and growled. The Captain had center stage
and the kids were having a ball when the unexpected happened. There was a
soft place in the floor from last summers hot water heater explosion and
flood damage that had been overlooked and when The Captain growled and
slammed his foot down like a Sumo wrestler would in an attack, his foot just
kept going on through the floor and swallowed him almost to his hip on the
one leg. We're all relieved his injuries weren't extensive. It took five
rescue people and 35 feet of one inch rope to pull him out, but they were
able to pull the couch over the hole in the floor, so that doesn't have to
be dealt with immediately. The Captain was in his own even if just for a
while, and we are glad for that..... Jerrydale McCarty - Trailer Park
Manager